HBO’s Game of Thrones has garnered a solid reputation of having some of the best writing in television history. A reputation well earned thanks to the brilliant team of writers, and in no small part, by the author of the books, George R.R. Martin. GRRM is a man who has zero qualms about kicking the emotional stability of his fans down the stairs. Season three of Game of Thrones will no doubt be best remembered for the heart-wrenching “Red Wedding” episode, but I found that this season, words did just as much damage.
10. Episode 1 – Tywin to Tyrion:
“Why? You ask that? You who killed your mother to come into the world? You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature, full of envy, lust and low cunning. Men’s laws give you the right to bear my name, and display my colours, since I can’t prove that you are NOT mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my fathers’ sigil and his fathers’ before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whore-house. Go. Now. And speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock.”
Tyrion’s face as his father’s brutally honest tirade absolutely destroys his self-esteem is heartbreaking. Well done, Charles Dance. You’ve made Tywin an even more loathsome and for that, we salute you.
9. Episode 2 – Olenna Tyrell to Sansa:
“He should have stayed well out of all this, if you ask me. But, once the cows been milked, there’s no squirting the cream back up her udders, so here we are to see things through.”
Lady Olenna Tyrell quickly endeared herself to fans as an old lady with a mind quicker than a sworded knight with this opening zinger.
8. Episode 3 – Ser Jorah to Daenerys:
“There’s a beast in every man. And it stirs when you put a sword in his hand.”
Another great example of the eternally friend-zoned Ser Jorah attempting to educate his Khaleesi on the harsher realities of war. It’s an ominous warning that pays off in spades upon Jaime Lannister by episode’s end.
7. Episode 4 – Olenna Tyrell to Varys
“Oh please! Seduce away, it’s been so long. Although I rather think it’s for naught. What happens when the non-existent bumps against the decrepit?”
Olenna strikes again! The horrified glimpse Varys gives his ‘non-existents’ is as priceless as the line itself. Delivered with the kind of weary sarcasm that only the elderly can give, this is an instant classic.
6. Episode 5 – Ygritte to Jon Snow:
“You know nothing, Jon Sn…Oh!”
‘Nuff said.
5. Episode 6 – Tyrion to Cersei
“It’s hard to say which of the four of us is getting the worst of this arrangement. Probably Sansa. Though Loras will certainly come to know a deep and singular misery.”
Tyrion has a way of cutting straight through the BS and going for the jugular. Dinklages’ crisp delivery of the lines is laced with such biting sarcasm that I wonder how the Game of Thrones cast and crew manage to keep a straight face whenever he speaks.
4. Episode 7 – Bronn to Tyrion
“You waste time tryin’ to get people to love you…you’ll end up the most popular dead man in town.”
Bronn long established himself in Game of Thrones by virtue of quick wit and quicker sword. Bronn’s class of streetwise counsel is in no doubt partly responsible for keeping Tyrion head attached to his shoulders in these troubled times. The Bromance is real.
3. Episode 8 – Davos to Stannis
“You could have freed me yesterday, or tomorrow. I think you came to me now before this boy is put to the knife because you knew I’d counsel restraint. You came to hear me say it because you believe it yourself. You’re not a man who slaughters innocents for gain or glory.”
Stannis gave up his man-card to Melisandre ever since she gave birth to that sentient fart/shadow assassin in Season 2. Still, enough of the man remains that he knows that whatever she has planned for Gendry is plain wrong. Hence, his seeking out the only man who has the stones to tell him the cold, hard truth. Davos is the man Stannis SHOULD be.
2. Episode 9 – Lord Bolton to Robb Stark
“The Lannisters send their regards.”
Oh God. Oh God. OH GOD… Elsewhere, George R.R. Martin jet-skied across his giant private lake, watered by the crystalline tears of his heartbroken fans. Tywin, you bastard. Joffrey just became number 2 on our “list”.
1. Episode 10 – Tyrion to Tywin
“You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper.”
Tyrion again slays with this loaded sentence. Even after his dignity has been assailed, Tyrion comes back swinging, proving that he is more than his diminutive stature. He understands that Joffrey is not the power behind the throne.
I can’t wait to see what goes down in Season 4. Stakes are high and alliances have been broken. Game of Thrones resumes its emotionally abusive relationship with us Spring of 2014. Cryogenesis sounds like a good option until then.
Agree with our list? Have other quotes? Hit the comment box below and let us know!
Honourable Mentions:
Jaime to Ex-Maester Qyburn:
“Countless has a nice ring to it.”
Jaime’s wearied response to being asked how many he has killed, shows a depth of guilt we might never have seen from the golden one. He seems to have found a kindred spirit in the ex-maester, who has himself done dastardly things, in the name of the greater good. Yet, like him, found himself despised for it.
Joffrey to Sansa:
“Your father’s gone. As father of the realm, it is my duty to give you away to your husband.”
Joffrey continues his douche-baggery with this number, because he knows that Sansa has zero choice in the matter. And she knows it. Our loathing for Joffrey is climbing higher than a coke fiend scaling Mount Everest. His threat of rape after the ceremony just makes your blood boil. Tyrion’s threat to cut off his manhood manages to quell our anger. Pity that Sansa is too myopic towards Tyrion’s kindness.