In the first official trailer for Fox’s The Pyramid, I noted a few key mistakes. I mean… I guess it wasn’t bad enough that the minute the poor workers tasked with doing the excavation opened the mysterious three-sided pyramid they were gassed with some sort of noxious, green gas. That alone would have had me pack it in. Clearly there were other clues indicating that if someone were to take their ass into the pyramid, they might as well call it a wrap on living. Still, in horror movie cliche form, a team of white archaeologists basically give danger and caution all of the middle fingers, and proceed to rue that decision as something feasts on them. White brothers and sisters, if you’re planning on going to any jungles, pyramids, islands in the middle of the South Pacific, etc., please consider finding your nearest black friend, and taking them with you. Whenever supernatural fuckery is afoot, I can assure you that your life will be spared thanks to our internal “Fuck This” meter. We’re all issued one at birth.
All jokes aside, this looks so good. I’m here for Denis O’ Hare (True Blood, American Horror Story), and Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes).
Director: Grégory Levasseur
Produced by: Alexandre Aja, Mark Canton, Chady Eli Mattar
Cast: Ashley Hinshaw, James Buckley, Denis O’Hare, Christa-Marie Nicola, Amir K.
The ancient wonders of the world have long cursed explorers who’ve dared to uncover their secrets. But a team of U.S. archaeologists gets more than they bargained for when they discover a lost pyramid unlike any other in the Egyptian desert. As they unlock the horrific secrets buried within, they realize they aren’t just trapped, they are being hunted.
The Pyramid hits theaters on December 5th.