I step away from the internet for one hour, and I come back to find out that WorldstarHipHop has brokered some kind of deal with Paramount for a movie? In case you are unfamiliar with WSHH, it’s a video hosting site that has peddled the worst of the worst of humanity, specifically making its money on the exploitation of the following: the abuse of minority women, poor people, children, and animals. It is the site that brought us Sharkeisha. Fucking Sharkeisha, guys. What’s the movie going to be about, Paramount? The rise and fall of one of the WorldStar Candy chicks? As if you could get any lower, but still… Maybe it will be a rousing saga detailing the real life struggles of idiots fighting over the dumbest shit. So moving. So emotion.
How To Make It In America creator Ian Edelman came up with an original pitch based on the web site and is scripting the project for Paramount’s microbudget arm, which he may also direct. Plot is being kept under wraps but is described as being akin to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in tone. Hip hop impresario Russell Simmons has come aboard to produce alongside Douglas Banker, Trevor Engelson, and site founder Q Worldstar for Def Pictures, Woven, Underground, and World Star Hip Hop respectively as filmmakers eye a Fall shoot in New York City.
Wasn’tHow To Make It In America canceled, though? Okay, I know that was shady, but it had to be said. I guess I’m more disgusted that people actually think they can fool people into thinking that a WorldstarHipHop movie will be anything other than a modern day cinematographic ode to minstrelsy; a minstrel show within a minstrel show. Clearly this movie is not aimed at my demographic. There are certain people who have made money pimping the worst of marginalized people and minorities for profit. Russell Simmons and Q Worldstar are just two of them.
I’m a betting woman, though. So let’s put down our wagers right now. I wager that less than 50% of the film’s patrons–if it actually does see the light of day–will be black.